Simple tricks to stay true to what you say you’ll do.

Why do we fight change, even when we know it’s for the best?

We’ve all been there… we have the best of intentions to change our lives for the better. We want to eat healthier, exercise more, take that yoga class, spend more time reading, get to bed earlier… whatever it may be. Sometimes we hit the ground running and then find that three weeks down the line, something derails us, and we simply fall off track… for good. But Why?? And what can we do about it?

Change is hard. Our minds are actually designed to resist change. Our minds like to know what to expect, and they crave comfort and routine. We can thank our primitive brain for this. In a nutshell, our brains believe that whatever we are doing in this current moment is best because, simply speaking, we are alive and still breathing. Our primitive brain doesn’t understand that sitting on the couch eating a sleeve of Girl Scout cookies isn’t a great idea because, well, we’re alive and breathing (and that constitutes as a win!)

The challenge for us is that any behavior that strays from our status quo freaks our brains out, and we resist the change. Our mind believes that anything else that we do will put us at risk, so it will do anything it can do to keep us “safe” and on the couch eating those cookies.

So what can we do to get that primitive brain on board when you want to make some changes?

1. Understand that resistance is natural and to be expected.

Knowledge is power, and I believe it helps to know why we might resist change. Being able to work with our brains can make getting over the initial temper tantrum that it wants to throw easier. Don’t be surprised if you are wanting to start an exercise routine, and right, when you’re getting your sneakers on, you hear a voice telling you that “you can always start tomorrow.”

That’s just your primitive brain trying to keep you safe. Isn’t that sweet? Take a minute to acknowledge what’s going on, thank that side of your mind for looking out for you, and assure it that you will be just fine doing some cardio for 30 mins. Every time you “safely” exercise from that moment forward, you are helping to convince your mind that you will, in fact, be HEALTHIER and less likely to die 😆 if you consistently keep to this new way of life.

And the best part… once you solidify that new habit, your primitive brain will take over and want you to continue with the new behavior because it will then deem that as your best chance of survival. SCORE. But the beginning stages of change can be hard on your brain, so be prepared to have to swim against the current in the beginning.

2. Instead of Goal Setting – try Process Creating.

“Goal Setting” is complicated when it comes to mindset. While setting goals can be very powerful for some people, it can actually be counterproductive for others. Let me explain.

When you set a goal, you are to some degree, telling yourself that right now, in this moment, you are not good enough. BUT when you ‘reach’ that goal… then you will be.

The problem with this mentality is twofold; you are waiting to feel worthy, and you’re placing all your eggs in one ‘happiness basket.’ You’re, in a way, teaching yourself to always put happiness and success off until the next milestone is achieved… and you’re banking on the idea that achieving that particular goal will change everything for the better.

Try this instead… rather than setting a goal, think about what it is that you want to change about your life and your current circumstances and figure out what habits and systems need to be put in place in order for you to achieve those results. Be proud of the little daily wins and rejoice in all of the little systems and processes you are putting into place instead of allowing yourself to be proud only when you reach your “goal.” James Clear said it best when he said,

“When you focus on the practice instead of the performance, you can enjoy the present moment and improve at the same time.”

3. Make it about Identity

Whatever you are aspiring to change in your life, think about why it is you want to make that change. Visualize yourself already having made those changes and adopt your new identity now while you work on your process.

If you want to take up running, for example, think and act like a runner now. What would that look like?

If you want to eat healthier, think and act like someone who chooses to eat healthy happily. What food choices would you make each day? How would you feel as a result? EMBODY that VISION now.

By acting as if your goal has already been actualized, you will be choosing actions that are fundamentally getting you closer and closer to that identity… and you will be believing in yourself and your ability to BE the person you want to be along the way.

4. Pick yourself up when you fall and MOVE on.

The path to self-improvement is often a winding and rocky road. And as we’ve talked about above, it can be hard to stick to the path. You will fall off course at times, and that’s OK.

The key is to pick yourself back up and get back on track. I have always loved the saying, “don’t throw yourself down the stairs because you tripped over the first step.” Mistakes are going to happen – it is part of the process.

Acknowledge the circumstances that made you fall off track and simply course correct. If your goal is to eat healthier and you catch yourself back on the couch again with that sleeve of Girlscout cookies, don’t take on the ‘F*ck It’ attitude and mindlessly crush the last cookies in the sleeve. Simply put the cookies down and get back on your healthy eating kick at the next meal.

Messing up isn’t failing. It’s simply part of the journey.